Epic fail or strange success? When it comes to a recent (and bizarre) alleged bank robbery, it all depends on whom you ask.
Clackamas County sheriff's deputies, for example, might be more inclined to classify Timothy Dean Alsip's alleged robbery attempt last Friday a failure. Alsip's arrest at a Bank of America branch outside Portland, Ore, was especially easy because the suspect remained at the scene of the crime, according to CBS Seattle.
Speaking with members of the media, Clackamas County Sheriff's Office spokesman Deputy Mark Nikolai described the strange chain of events, beginning a little after 10 a.m. on Aug. 23.
"[Alsip] handed over a note saying, 'This is a hold up. Give me a dollar,'" Nikolai said of the events inside the bank, according to local media reports.
Rather than flee with his ill-gotten bill, however, Alsip reportedly took a seat in the lobby and quietly waited for police to arrest him, according to CBS Seattle.
Originally charged with both second-degree robbery and third-degree theft, Alsip saw his robbery charge dismissed, according to the Sheriff's Office website. Alsip remains in jail, having failed to pay a $40,000 bail on the theft charge.
According to The Oregonian, Alsip told officers he had "robbed" the bank in order to receive medical care in jail. Although he had no previous criminal record, Alsip had apparently been acting strangely in the days before the robbery. The 50-year-old homeless man asked random people for help and even called 911 on himself to "complain of various imaginary problems," reported The Oregonian.
Whether or not Alsip's health problems are legitimate, his plan to seek jailhouse healthcare may have been inspired by a similar robbery in North Carolina two years ago. At the time, James Verone told reporters that he asked the teller at a Gastonia, N.C., bank for $1 in an effort to get himself arrested, according to Mother Jones. The 59-year-old reportedly hoped to stay in jail just long enough to get free medical care for a host of conditions and then qualify for Social Security when he got out.
(Hat tip, MSN) (From Huffington Post)
NEW YORK (AP) - A man who repeatedly used phony credentials to gain entry into New York City's jails has pleaded not guilty.
Prosecutors told a Manhattan judge on Thursday that they want Matthew Matagrano to be locked up for 10 years.
Matagrano, a former inmate, pleaded not guilty to felony burglary in Manhattan Supreme Court.
The judge doubled his bail to $100,000 and ordered him to get medical attention.
The New York Post says that according to police statements released in court, Matagrano said he repeatedly sneaked into jails because the people inside were "nice."
Authorities say Matagrano tried to get inside multiple city lockups, including Rikers Island and the Manhattan Detention Center where he mingled with inmates for hours.
Is it me or is this really a sketchy looking bathtub? We need to call Mr. Clean right away and maybe he can help with the nastiness. Either way, who in the heck keeps an alligator in a bathtub? Would you not think that the alligator would grow up? Really?
There's nothing wrong with saying, "See you later, alligator," unless it's a real alligator that you left in your mom's bathtub.
Authorities in Volusia County, Fla., have charged Sean Lewis, 45, with alligator poaching after his mother called 911 on Monday to report him.
Lewis told cops he received the small alligator from a friend who was supposed to come back for the animal, but never did, NBC Miami reported.
However, the friend never returned.
After a while (crocodile), Lewis decided to keep the animal in a bathtub in a home he shared with his mother.
She wasn't pleased, especially after he converted the bathtub into a makeshift aquarium, with a cinder block inside meant to simulate dry land and an overhead heat lamp to simulate sunlight.
The woman called 911, and authorities came over to get the gator.
Although the tub provided a reasonable amount of room for the gator to move, Bonnie Breilbeil of the Central Florida Zoo said it was only a matter of time before it would have become more aggressive.
"I would assume within just a few months that would become very, very difficult for that individual and it's just not, just like I said, a proper environment for the animal, so we have to think of them, too," Breitbeil told WFTV.com.
Alligators are a protected species in Florida and can be legally collected only by individuals with proper licenses and permits, according to the Daytona News-Journal.
Lewis is now in custody at Volusia County Jail, while the gator has been released into the St. John's River, according to WFTV.
This is not Lewis' first run-in with the law. Records show that he has been arrested at least six times, including two assault charges, one on a person over the age of 65, the Daily Mail reported.
Now I have done some silly diets and crash eating plans as I have tried to loose weight in a last minute effort for an event. I have also ate right and exercised and saw great results too. Today, my "Moron of the Moment" maybe bit off more than she could chew.. or maybe she just swallowed rather... YUCK.
An Iowa woman recently told her doctor that she bought a tapeworm on the Internet and ingested it in an attempt to lose weight. The doctor was apparently so stumped by the patient's bad decision that he had to call the state health department for guidance.
The agency told the doctor to have his patient de-wormed by way of some special medication that kills the parasite. Dr. Patricia Quinlisk, medical director at the Iowa Department of Public Health, recounted the incident in an e-mail to public-health workers Thursday.
“Ingesting tapeworms is extremely risky and can cause a wide range of undesirable side effects, including rare deaths,” Quinlisk wrote, according to the Des Moines Register. “Those desiring to lose weight are advised to stick with proven weight loss methods; consuming fewer calories and increasing physical activity.”
Tapeworms are parasites that can afflict humans who eat undercooked meat. "One tapeworm can't absorb enough food and nutrients to make a big difference in weight... the parasite can cause anemia and malnutrition," USA Today noted.
According to i09, other symptoms of tapeworm infestation include having pieces of them stick out of your mouth after a cesarean section, followed by a "burning sensation" after you pull the four-foot long sucker out.
Someone pass the lemon juice.
(From the Huffington Post)